At 11 years old I was the funniest person in my grade. How did I know this? Everyone wanted to sit next to me and see what stupid bullshit I was going to do at the lunch table. After lunch, no one would acknowledge my existence, but for that little blip of time I was queen shit.
So, what was my specialty? Snark,mockery and political humor(no bullshit, I was such a fucking nerd that I was crafting jokes before I had boobs based off what Peter Jennings told me the night before over dinner. Usually it was just making poop or fart jokes based on politicians names, but you get the idea). So I would just talk shit for a few minutes, mostly having no idea what I was talking about, using words that I learned on TV that were way over my head. Christ, I wish I didn’t drink those jokes out of my head, I’m curious if I accidentally made any butt-sex jokes. Anyway, as my finale, I usually did something physical. Just to really sell the commitment to my craft. Either snorting something off my cafeteria tray, or lines of pixie stix. I drew a crowd. Most of the popular girls were horrified of me. As they fucking should have been. There is no reason a relatively well adjusted child should be stuffing jello into their nose..ever. The boys thought I was hysterical, and gross. So I got invited to play sports with them. I was terrible at it, but no one cared because I made them laugh.
I was incredibly unpopular when people weren’t laughing. I was poor. My clothes never really fit right. I had bad weird hair, and giant plastic glasses that were donated to me by the Lions club. I was afraid of trouble, of disappointing my parents, or anyone really so I never was the class clown. I never made fun of anyone who seemed like life had shit on them, because I got that. I just came to school, did my work and went home to play kickball.
Do you think ingesting chocolate through ones nose may have caused any long term damage?
“Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”—Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements (via beavisandsluthead)